Stuffing My Life Into Small Whittle Itsy Bitsy Boxes

I've been filling up lots of forms of late... mostly for my new job. Oh did I mention I have a new job?  Well I do, and its one I want too but I'll leave all that for some other time. There is something far more exigent we must discuss.  So where was I.. yes filling in forms. I hate filling up forms, I hate all those little boxes you squash your life into.  I hate it that I have to present the life I've led all these years into all these pigeon-holed repositories which are always to small and yet they specify please write in CAPITAL LETTERS.  Do they realise that CAPITAL LETTERS are larger?  They really should consider altering the size of those fucking boxes.  What's the point of having CAPITAL LETTERS compacted into an ink blotch in those teeny-weeny boxes?  And I hate it that my life becomes no more than blank boxes on a page you attempt to clog.  The more saturated the page is, the fuller your life is suppose to be.  My form turned out pretty clean, I never quite know what to put in those blanks especially


HOBBIES:
It depends?
Who on earth has timefor them?
Why the fuck do you even care?
Does couch training count as a hobby?
How 'bout having sex? Does having sex count as a hobby? Its a pretty varied hobby actually... it gets your heart thumping, I read that you burn lotsa calories doing it, it can be a solitary activity, or you can do it in groups. Sounds like a hobby to me.


And you know what the worse part of all this is people imagine they know all there is to know about you simply by looking at this fucking form. I wonder what people think when they look at my form...



Cheapskate who squanders tax payers money sitting within the ivory walls of the university debating the ideas of some dead guy.

Scaredy-cat who stayed on in school because the real working world seemed too harsh for her jellyfish ways.


Let's leave it at 2... the list could go one but my self esteem could do with a break today.

But the one thing that really gets me is the RELIGION box and mind you this one I filled in was fairly comprehensive. Here's what it looked like:

RELIGION: _____________
Were you born into this religion? Yes/No*
Are your family members of the same religion as you? Yes/No* If no, please specify: __________
Date of Conversion: ____________

What the fuck is all this? Why does it matter if I'm a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic, Wiccan, Animist, Satan worshipper, or narcissistic self worshipper?  I would have listed more but you get my drift.  How does any of it impinge on my work?  Would I be any less inept if I had or didn't have a religion?  Does being Islamic mean I'm a bomb loving terrorist? Does being a Christian mean I'm a prudish pompous better-than-thou supposed do-gooder?  Does being Wiccan means I bring a broom everywhere I go?  And why on earth does it matter what religion the other members of my family identify with? And date of conversion?  Gees... let's see, date of conversion, is that the date I had that dream god spoke to me through an angel as a strange yellow resplendent glow shone from the heavens above?  Oh wait, that was my friend using a torch to act out that Touch by an Angel scene.  Or maybe its the date I prayed to something out there when I was 6 when my bunny died after my brother stepped on it?  Or maybe, just maybe, it was the day my primary school teacher asked the class who's a Christian and I raised my hand because the most popular girl in class raised hers?  Or maybe it was the day I sold my soul and got baptised. I'm not sure.  With all the sensitivities surrounding religion these days, I'm surprised someone could even ask this.  Soon, they'll be asking me for my bra cup size... cos' you know what they say, the bigger the boob, the smaller the brain.