If there's one thing I've always been, and will likely always be is sensitive. I feel things acutely and I can never quite brush things off without having gone through it my head a million times over. Small things detonate inside my little head and before you know it, its 1945 and you're in the hypocentre of a mushroom cloud.
I sometimes think my life would be so much easier if I weren't like that. On a very primary and elementary level, I would probably be a lot of happier. Not that I'm not happy now, I am, I just also have the capacity to be tremendously unhappy and absolutely disconsolate. But not being like that would never be enough for me. I have this latent need to want to feel as much as I can until I break or until I can't. I hate this about me, but its also this part of me that sometimes makes me feel like a real person. I can't change this, but I guess its a relief that I know what kind of person I am. I make no apologies for it, its just me.
Maybe all this is just floozy nonsense from a narcissist who needs to find an explanation for feeling the way she is right now. Just ignore me.
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