Tuesday, March 23

Why Am I a Worry Wart?

Why can't I stop worrying?  What is wrong with me?  Why does my heart constantly feel like its about to beat out of my chest?  

A huge part of me has always been a worry-wart.  Since I was a kid, I remember having these palpitations whenever I worry, my heart beats so fast, so heavily that I feel like its almost better if it had just been ripped out my my chest.  And as far as I can remember, this feeling has overcome me for everything - from little things to the big things in life I can't control.  

I remember standing at in line during assembly at school feeling this way because I'd forgotten to do my homework or bring a book.  No big deal right?  Perhaps.  But boy did I worry.  And imagine how many times a year this feeling overcame me.  I wasn't a great student so way too many times.

I remember feeling the this way during my earlier years of taking exams.  I have since grown accustomed to them and they no longer rattle me as much these days.  

I remember sometimes just sitting around worrying about my mom when she gets a bad cough.  She smokes and I worry about more serious ramifications.  This same feeling washes over me and I can't shake it off for days.

Today, I sit at my desk, trying to make sense of John Deere's activity based accounting systems and feeling the same way.  I'm waiting for a particular response from a particular someone and though I won't get an answer till next week, my heart already feels overwhelmed.  

Please send me peace of mind.  

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